Agape Boarding School Violence Essays

18

12998 E 1400 Rd
Stockton, MO65785
(417) 276-7215

Every now and then I check the web for updates to Agape. I attended Agape from 2001-2002 as a sophomore in High School and boy was I in for a rude awakening. From what i can see on the internet, the school has changed tremendously and seems to be moving in the right direction for new students. Like many of my peers who attended this school during my time, we can all testify that this was one of our most difficult times in our then short lived life and I can only speak to what I experienced. For those that do not know, Agape is a independent, fundamental, baptist church which positions them very conservatively, I would say too conservative. With the daily chapel services and the Full Sunday run down of the gospel, religion felt forced! I understand Agapes intentions were all good but to a student at the time, this is way too much! Soo much that it pushed me away from religion but it did not push me away from believing there was one God and a higher power does exist. The ONE thing that motivated me when I was at Agape was succeeding at school and not because I wanted to gain knowledge but more because my parents "promised" me an exit once I finish my schooling. Agape utilizes self pace schooling which is done more independently at the students own pace. This allows for some students to take advantage of there "free time" doing pace work and finishing quicker. During my time there, I was low key and did not cause much trouble but from time to time I found myself on the wall which is a form of punishment. I am not sure what kind of punishment is being implemented now a day but the punishment experienced during my time(2001) was very severe and could even be considered assault. Let me make this clear, you were only punished if you did wrong and I did not see unjust beatings. All in all, I did not learn or care much for religion but what I did learn was to respect your elders and more importantly, respect yourself. Overall, would I send my kid to Agape one day? That questions remains unanswered as I have never been in that position and til you find yourself in those parents shoes, its hard to give a definitive answer.

Don't be fooled, this place is an absolute nightmare. I was there from 2003-2005, graduated valedictorian, yada yada, but I won't lie- it's essentially a purgatory run by fanatics. Any "parent" who thinks otherwise is delusional, or isn't a "parent" at all. The vast majority of "parents" who sent their children here simply don't want to be parents, and see Agape as an easy, simple way out of parenting. Send your kid away and let others deal with them. MOST of the boys there don't belong there in the first place. You can tell by the way the parents act when they visit, and the fact that most of them come from Southern California- a good indicator of the "my teenager is hindering my social life" type of "parent". "Christian jail" is about right.... Run and managed by some well-intentioned, and some brutally evil people. They have a carpeted room where they beat the snot out of kids from reasons ranging to "looking at their daughter" to "talking back". They've broken bones and dislocated shoulders doing so, along with slamming kids into the ground. Trust me, I'm not sour or bitter about it, I'm just explaining the reality. I was a junior staff member there, minded my P's and Q's, and didn't experience the horrors some other kids had to deal with. There are a few good, caring staff, but the majority are similar to officers of Nazi Germany- taking orders, restraining kids and beating the snot out of them "for their own good". There's a reason this place is located in Missouri. And this is coming from an advocate of strict parenting... Agape just goes too far. From my experience, it hasn't actually "helped" any of the kids that were sent there, except for the feeble minded and those who were on the literal brink of death. And before you think your kid is "uncontrollable" or "rebellious", you really need to view that objectively, relative to ALL other boys their age. Unless they're actually killing people or shooting up heroin, they don't belong here. BE A BETTER PARENT- it will be far better for them in the long run. By "purgatory" I mean that, this will simply delay your child's actions- it won't "change" them. They'll burn the most critical years of their development "waiting" to leave and go right back to what they were doing. It doesn't make them mature or learn, it simply delays that process. Do the right thing and sit your son down and talk about it. Be a good parent and discipline them properly so they don't have to go through a horrible experience like this... Agape stunts the growth and maturity of 95% of kids there. (5% really do belong there and need help). This is NOT a "boarding school." This is jail. If you want to harm your children and don't want to take responsibility for your parenting, you can send them here. They'll remember that for the rest of their lives

My son was at this school, and he was injured on a Wednesday and had the flu that whole week. Not one person let me know, but told my son that they did. I didn't learn about it until I had my bi-weekly call with my son. No x-ray had been done, and his foot was black and swollen. When I reached out to the staff they said they just forgot to inform me. They got onto my son for telling me as well. I went to get him because of this reason as well as having a hard time getting any responses during his stay from the staff. When i got him they had finally taken him to get an x-ray the night before. The results of the x-ray were cut off and i couldn't read them, and they said they would email them to me within the hour. That never happened. They quit responding to me once we had left like they just didn't care about letting me know the results. My son said that Scott Dumar (who drove him to get the x-ray) was texting while driving and nearly killed them twice on the winding roads in the middle of the night. I am so displeased with how my son, and i were treated. They don't seem to care or be able to empathize which goes against any time of "Christianity" I've ever known. Would not recommend this place! They can buy camels, and other exotic animals but couldn't even get my son appropriate crutches for his height or any help.

Who is this David S replying to all these reviews. All i know for a fact is the damn tornadoe, how u grown men made us teens clean after the disaster, build your new homes, paint your new homes, set gravels for ur new homes. U gave us a 3gulp limit from the hosed water where we have no idea where the water is coming from. U make cleaning bathrooms and toilets the best work crew job out there. Brother Greene was THE worst power tripping man Ive still yet to see in my years. My best friend who attended Agape for 4 yrs, stayed as a blue shirt staff, has died in an overdose from abusing drugs. My other two friends who's attended agape w me are living in prison, sentenced for 15 years each. They make even a 6yr old boy turn into a mighty mouse kid, pumping out an avg of 100 push ups a day. They monitor and screen every letter to ur parents, incoming and outgoing. every phone call. It feels like this is what a christian jail will be like, if it ever existed. Absolutely no socializing whatsoever. U cannot talk to ANY students unless there is a staff monitoring ur conversation, which can only be a question or two at max. "Would u like to play a game of chess later? Yea sure" that'd be it. U cant ask an individual of his background, whats troubled him to get here, where he lived and etc. Not all, but some staffs truly look like they had nothing better going on in the real world and have escaped to Stockton, MO. I know they get paid shit but hey, free housing, free food, free utilities, free maintenance, free education for their kids. Things u learn from Agape will not be used in the real world when u get out of there. The short-term molding can only last so long out here in the real world. Things u learned at agape for 12-24 mo when you're 16yo will not continue on in the real world unless u stay there til u die. Im sure those staffs will not make it out in the real world or they'll probably be on a $30k annual salary somewhere in the suburbs. Overall, this is a temporary fix for a troubled teen to get thru his teen days. Kids will hate it. But hey, the time being hes there, your son will be a changed man. Temporarily. Hey. You get what you pay for.

I was a student at Agape in 2005 for 19 months. I'll start by saying I was a troubled teen. Out of control in every sense of the way. I needed a place to go for my safety and sanity, as well as that of my families. Now, with that being said I give a rating of two stars strictly due to the effectiveness of this facility and the staff to temporarily hold a young man like myself, and keep him from harming himself or others. This however comes at the cost of much mental abuse, belittling, indoctrination, and at times physical abuse. I was a pretty low risk student while I was there. I myself only was asked to do push-ups once. But what I saw and heard happen to those around me was unjustifiable. At the same time, I was still referred to as a "retard" and called "stupid" quite often. I was told unless I accepted their doctrine I was doomed to hell, and many other outrageous things. I left agape with more issues, depression, and hate than when I arrived. There are many other facilities that have staff who are more concerned about actually helping and more loving that I would recommend you try first. If you simply want to house your son somewhere temporarily, than try it.

First off I just wanna say David S. You are so wrong it makes me sick. How dare you defile my friend Gabriel's memory. What gives you the right? Do you have anything better to do than to troll everyone's review ? We'll you never knew me so don't try to write me off like you have EVERYONE ELSE. I have been out of agape for 4 years now I am still traumatized by these people and the people who work/worked there. When i came back I was desperate to make up for "lost time" as I'm sure many other of my comrades were and it lead me down a dark road. It took me a long time to stop trying to relive the past. And still to this day, the rage & anger I feel against you for manipulating my parents into spending most of college fund is almost unbearable. I lost a year of my life to you I hope you get what you deserve no god is gonna save you. DONT SEND YOUR KIDS HERE

I went to Agape from 99-01. What a he'll hole. A bunch of power tripping men picking on boys. I mean why does a 30yr old man need to slam a kid? I went to Agape on a court order so either there or jail so I can't complain but if your kid isn t robbing people and in gangs try something else.

I'm sure the school will be quick to shoot down this review, and characterize me as a bitter trouble making ex-student. I'll start by debunking that argument before it even starts. I graduated from this school as valedictorian after about 2 1/2 years of hard work (I challenge the staff to question this as I'm sure I have the video of my speech stored somewhere along with other indisputable evidence that this is true). I was successful in the program, and I even stayed on as staff briefly after graduation. One would assume that I, of all students, would have wonderful things to say about this school. I do not. The negative effects of this school aren't always noticed right away. The reason for this is because of the high concentration of indoctrination that goes into the daily life of the student. Staff often refer to this as molding the character of the student in biblical principles. That sounds so much better than indoctrination, but don't let flowery words deceive you. Hiding behind these "biblical principles" is an incredibly effective way to get people to accept brainwashing, and it allows this school to operate without government regulation. The general public already has a very vanilla view of christianity. Make no mistake that the christian doctrine practiced here is closer to Westboro Baptist Church than it is to your local friendly congregation. So what are the dangers of being indoctrinated? I think the most dangerous aspect is that you lose the ability to think for yourself. Your mind is forced into accepting a foreign reality as true, which causes you to lose sight of who you are as an individual. This results in students conforming to the system with a metaphorical gun to their heads. They know what to do, but they do not know why they do it. The ability to question authority is not always a bad thing. It is just inconvenient when you are the one being questioned. I'm sure parents are overjoyed when their son comes back, and listens to what they are told. They may even write a glowing review in their excitement. However, few people understand that the best case scenario is that the program creates a robot that succeeds to go through the motions within a certain set of circumstances. This programming will naturally lose its effectiveness as time passes and the success rate goes way down when the individual has to adapt to new circumstances to make their own decisions. It is like prisoners who fail to integrate back into society because they are so used to the structure of the prison system. Other negative effects that I have personally experienced include feelings of mistrust, abandonment, anti-social behavior, suicidal thoughts, inability to connect with others, inability to admit weakness, unhealthy obsession with work ethic, over independence, and the list goes on. Some of those effects might even seem like a positive to you. What is wrong with having worth ethic, and independence? Working hard is awesome until you work yourself into sickness, and you feel too guilty to enjoy time off. Being independent is awesome until you can't bring yourself to depend on other people or share your feelings in a healthy way. Take into account that I think of myself as lucky given the circumstances. There was a very real possibility of spiraling out of control after returning to the real world, but I fell into a job opportunity where I could work all the time. I worked so much that I didn't have the energy to face the problems, and it became my escape from real life. This carried on when I started my own business. It wasn't until years had passed that I started to truly realize the harm the school had done to me. I'm barely trying to start dealing with these problems in a healthy way. In fact, I found out hours ago that there are support groups for people with "boarding school syndrome". Do not believe the claims that "99 out of 100" have a positive experience, but they never take the time to write something positive. Out of the 200-ish students I knew I would say that 1 or 2 others have turned their negative experience into something really positive. Few of the others are doing okay. Most of them describe their happiness and success as questionable at best. At the bottom of that spectrum are ex-students that are in prison, deceased from suicide, or deceased from other illegal activity. To Parents: Do not be fooled into thinking this is your last chance to save your son. The low odds of your son gaining a few benefits from this experience are vastly outweighed by a life time of scarring. Take responsibility for your actions as a subpar parent and put in the leg work to raise your child. You cannot dump the blame entirely on your kid. This school should never be an option. To Staff: You should be held accountable for all the lives you've destroyed, but I can only implore you to stop this and leave. Your actions are more damaging than you know.

Looney spoke the truth. 5 stars because I graduated high school at agape (you guys still haven't sent my diploma). But let's just be honest. Agape is a great BUSINESS. Parents pay a lot of $ to change their troubled child(ren). Yet, all they (Agape, not as a school, but as a business) did was use these kids as slaves of physical labor, which resulted in profitable gains (maybe not immediately or even monetarily, but eventually and ultimately). I always thought it was deceiving how they had us act a certain way in front of families. Always knew that it's a bad idea to have a bunch of young kids rebuild the whole school after the tornado in may 2003. Think about it. A massive line of over 100 kids passing sharp roof sheets, or picking up insulation with barehands, knowing that there isn't any running water to shower afterwards. But the big realizations happened after I left the school. To list what agape did/does wrong can be very subjective, especially coming from an old student. But for this yelp review and as a follow up for John K., I'll touch on a few inconvenient truths. Let's just be honest. Agape is such a great business which I would love to own one day. Money from the families :: more than enough to sustain the business and still gain tremendous profit each month. But everything they do is for free, resulting in nothing but more profit on top of profits. All the food is practically donated by sysco. The huge lot of land with it's own lake, mountain, etc. Donated. Tornado came and left the school in a pile of trash 4 feet high. Since we had more than enough manpower to rebuild the campus, church, dorms, homes of the staff members, etc. They had a few "trusted" students go into town and help clean trees, insulation, glass, etc. Then I saw what I shouldn't have. Me and 6 other trusted students hauled a whole container (the 1 for those 18 wheeler semis) full of firewood that was chainsawed by brother Steve for 6 hours. We got 2 hot dogs for lunch and a can of soda, while agape got a "check." No need to disclose the amount. Anybody who has worked for a living understands that free labor = free $. Not only were the kids free labor, but we had no choice or an option to voice our opinion. It was either you do it agape's way or you lose privileges like your shoes, or Kool aid, or even the freedom to walk anywhere you want. I was a "trusted" student. I did every PACE curriculum POSSIBLE, that there wasn't any reason for an 18 year old to stay there. So I left. But during my time there I was sobering up. I thought life was just horrible being sober and hated how comparable our lifestyle at agape is/was to imprisonment. I got to experience things like going to recycling centers, nursing homes, survival school, etc which the average student that attended agape, never got to experience or even knew about. Ultimately, my experience at agape did help me appreciate the little things in life like laughter and I did "graduate high school," but now realize that there was a price to pay for it :: normal childhood. Still haven't been to a graduation or a prom in my life. More than likely will never have a physical paper diploma hanging on my wall. Did someone say a reunion? Yea right. I don't even like talking about high school experiences because I graduated from a "boarding" schooling in middle-of-nowhere, MO. (As far as racism against non-white minorities, MO takes it by a mile) Anyways, 5 stars agape. Would I ever go back? No. Definitely not as a student. Not even as a guest. Would I ever send my son? No. If parents feel like their kid needs agape because of reason X, Y, & Z, then why would you have your kid in a facility full of other students with problems X, Y, & Z? Get it? Should parents of current students bring their kids back home? No. Then you'd be wasting everything times 2. Time. Money. Effort. As soon as your boy gets home, he's going to pick up right where he left off. It's on him to decide what to do with his life. Not GOD. Not agape. As successful as I am today, definitely didn't need a high school diploma so to each their own. R.I.P. C.Kim & M.Cullen (both ex-blue shirts @ agape) If anyone wants to do a full on interview about my time at agape in more details (you would have to be the 1st one willing to go public about it), then feel free to reach out to me.

See this staff member try to victim blame every negative review is truly sickening and a product of the culture pushed by Agape. On my first day I saw another kid beat til his face was black, blue, and swollen. I fell in line, I did as I was told. I was the highest rank within 6 months and left as a shining example of Agape reform. I was not prepared for life outside the bubble of the school and years later suppressed memories of the mental abuse haunted me. I suffer from bipolar disorder, but my parents like many radical evangelicals reject much of modern psychology and refused to medicate me, instead I was sent to agape, paid for by my own college fund. This staff member commenting is a liar, PACES at the time were not accredited and my entire year there education wise was a complete waste. I saw the documentary "kidnapped for Christ" and found myself openly weeping like I was 13 all over again (and the school in the movie was like summer camp compared to Agape in 1999-2000). This school left a scar I fear will never heal. In the entire year there I never saw a doctor a single time, my bipolar diagnosis was never even discussed. I was alone with no one to talk to about the thoughts that haunted me, when I needed help the most I was given only orders to obey and rules to follow. I don't know what Agape is like now, those I've spoken to make it sound like it has changed significantly and is no where near the cult labor camp it amounted to 15-20 years ago. But don't you dare blame me, don't you dare discount my struggle, my pain. I will carry the institutional abuse with me for the rest of my life, and to my knowledge none of the staff have been held accountable for the hundreds of children emotionally destroyed by this school. I got help and am doing well but I can't say the same for countless of my brothers who shared my burden.....shared..... these kids needed help, instead we were indoctrinated with a perverse interpretation of the Bible very parallel to that of Westboro Baptist Church and as a result many are dead and most will carry with them the darkness of their time there like a heavy chain for the rest of their lives.

It looks like Agape changed their name to Stockton Boys Home. Please know that I am talking about the same place. They just changed the name. Anyways, I was at Stockton Boys Home (Agape) in 95-96. I'm 35 years old now, a licensed attorney, I have a beautiful Christian wife and God's peace. However, that was still the worst year of my life. It left numerous scars (emotionally and spiritually...not physically) that took a long time to heal. When I left there, I was 17 years old and angry at everyone, especially God. After Agape, I turned to alcohol to numb myself. I spent 13 years after Agape trying to drink myself into an early grave. 5 years ago, I turned my life over to Christ. Since then, I have been put on a path to bring justice to children who have none. That being said, I was not given justice at Agape. I went there as an exceptional student (grade-wise, definitely not behavior-wise). They did not have the necessary tools for someone in advanced classes. Basically, I did not learn anything new from the 2nd half of my junior year in high school to graduation. Praise God for blessing me with His wisdom, because I have since finished a Law Degree, a Master's Degree and a Bachelor's. The education system is a big concern at Agape. Another concern is the way that students are forced into intimacy with God. I have learned that intimacy with my Lord and Savior is a precious and important time. However, the Lord wants those of us who choose to meditate on His word. I could be mistaken, but I don't believe there is anywhere in the Bible where people are forced into intimacy with the Lord (reading Scripture, meditating, prayer, etc.). This is a privilege, not a chore. Also, it is true that there are many power hungry staff members at Agape. Again, this was almost 20 years ago, so this might have changed. However, it seems as though the Clemensons still run the place. Without naming names or gossiping, my personal feeling is that sometimes power can corrupt even the people with the best intentions. This can lead to injustice and a manipulation of God's Word for man's gain. There was a reason why the state of Washington kicked out Agape. I was there when it happened. Our heat was shut off in the middle of the winter (of course the staff's heat wasn't), and we moved to California. After that, I believe they were persuaded to leave California, but this is an opinion, not fact. Further, another concern is with the punishment system. I actually believe in the corporal punishment (spankings), as these are swift forms of justice with a lasting memory. Physical pain is much different than mental anguish. If they are still using the "no talking" and taking away student's shoes, this needs to stop. These are degrading forms of punishment that serve to embarass the student and degrade them at the same time. There is no reason to take the natural tendency to talk away from a teenage boy. Finally, the worst part of Agape is that it is an all boys school. Taking a teenage boy away from girls for a year or more is just asking for mental instability in their adult years. I missed out on prom, dances, dates, romance, etc. Now that I am married to the woman of my dreams, that time seems like a distant nightmare. However, at the time, it was very real. No teenage boy should ever be deprived of teenage girls (I'm not talking about sexual immorality, which I am against... marriage is the only place for physical intimacy on that level). To conclude, I would look into other options before sending my son to Agape. I completely understand that I was causing major problems in my life, and the lives of those closest to me. My parents felt that they did not have an alternative. However, as I've stated above, there are just some things that parents should not deprive their children of. The State, and Federal governments have the right to deprive us of our freedom, but our parents should not have that right. There are reasons why children behave the way they behave. For the most part, it is damage that was done by the parent. My father walked out on our family when I was 8. At that moment, I went from a kind young boy, to an angry young terror. I acted out for years. Then, when I was 16 years old, I had a car, a job, and a girlfriend (plus a 3.1 GPA), my dad drove me up to Agape in Washington. It took me years to forgive my dad for leaving us. It took me years to forgive both parents for sending me there. Only God can heal us, as He did me. It can't be forced though. Parents need to find the root of their child's anger/bad behavior. I firmly believe (and wish I had the statistics to back it up, besides my own personal experience), that it's MAINLY a result of the parent's past behavior/mistakes. Thank you for reading this. Please find an alternative method for getting your son the help he needs. The Lord will provide a way. God Bless you and your son!

Worst 14 months of my life here. I was physically and mentally abused. Please email me for my story or more info. If you don't want to take my word for it, I can give you plenty of other references that will tell you the same thing. Please DO NOT send your son here. gabey_chow@yahoo.com

This place is a hell-hole located in a shit-hole of a state. Avoid at all costs. Honestly, if you want your kid and the family to have a better relationship try FAMILY THERAPY. Not send your kid off to a completely different state, not be able to have a first visit until 3 MONTHS LATER, and have other visits every other 3 months. I spent 30 min in the morning reading the KJV Bible and another 30 before sleeping. I also went to CHURCH EVERY DAY...twice on Wednesdays and Sundays. SOOO boring, I pretty much fall asleep every time because of how stupid and illogical the place was. Oh yeah all this place does is hire staff that belittle the students all day, and is run by a ego-maniac by the name of Bryan Clemenson. These people are stuck in the past and refuse to understand that civilization is moving forward as a whole and don't need backwards ideas from the stone age.

We sent our adopted son, who at age 13, started to get really out-of-control. He was defiant, hated school, starting hitting his sister, etc. We tried everything from counselling to psychiatric help, but nothing seemed to work. Agape Boarding School ended up being a godsend. He hated it because of the strict rules and regulations, but when he graduated, he was a completely different person. He was respectful, polite and delightful to be around. A lot of the complaints are from former kids who went there and of course, they hated it. All in all, I think Agape did a wonderful job of educating our son and I'm thankful they were there for him.

My son went here for three months in 1996. If I could give negative stars I would. When I went to visit him, in three months he looked like a skeleton and emotional wreck. they use punishment tactics that are inhumane....standing face first to the wall for literally hours at a time, physical abuse. As soon as we left, after dropping him off, the staff members beat him up. Horrible horrible place and "all in the name of God". How sick is that!

Yeah I want a bible jammed between reason and my brain because reason too early in life can be derailing when doctrine, wisdom and guidance is far more valuable at an impressionable age. That said our son has been attending for 9 months and has had a complete turnaround in attitude, academics and behavior. The greatness only we could see is finally showing through. Thank you Agape for all that you do!!

It's a school for troubled boys. Very Christian, very structured. It's good for some kids who need this kind of help. I have seen kids enrolled and graduate and be very successful. The place is safe and clean and well organized, They have plenty of help to get the kids back on track and a lot of help with academics.

hello i was in agape for a year and it was the worst moments of my life.it has stayed with me in the worst ways (night terrors)not for any bodily harm but the way they took my sanity,in the year i was there i was punished "on the wall" for about 5 months straight only exception was for school and church and thanksgiving.why this punishment you ask because i knew about a dumb escape plan by two idiots and didnt report them.religion is their cover and everything is ok but you challenge that and all hell was unleashed upon me.oh and the buddy system does not work! I had the worst buddy ever (power trips,pushups for no reason etc.)overall nothing changes for the better in that place.I just wrote this for me to help me and maybe somebody else not to make a mistake.YOU CAN NEVER SAY YOU WERE NOT WARNED.

@nattalayy welcome to high school my nigga!!!!! wait til you're doing a long ass essay at 3 am because you forgot that shits due tomorrow.

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