Jacksepticeye Top 5 Things That Annoy Me Essay

1. People on public transportation

There are just too many damn people about, certainly in the big cities. If you catch the subway, train or bus, you’ll know what I mean. Ever stood at a subway station that is completely vacated, and within seconds there are 50 people around you? I know I have. How about getting on a train at five in the morning and being surprised that you still have to stand? Why aren’t these people asleep? Surely they don’t work. Why can’t people just go away? I can’t be the only one that thinks so selfishly. Stay away, wait until I’ve made my journey, and then you can start using public transportation.

2) The “must-sit-downers”

While on the topic of public transportation, here’s another one. I’m not referring to the pregnant woman or the wobbly-kneed old lady that stands next to you on the bus. You know the one who looks like she’s going to break both her legs at the same time and shatter right in front of you unless she sits down? They have a right to want to sit down, and we’ll happily give them our seat, right? It’s the people that don’t need to sit down but will still squeeze their ass into the middle seat of a six-piece seating system on the train. Don’t you hate these fuckers?

I know it’s a seat, and they have a right to want to sit in it, but some of these jack knobs look like they’ve got the contents of their entire house with them. They try to squeeze their fat ass into the already partially covered middle seat (because the folks sitting on either side of that seat are also fat bastards). They have five bags and a suitcase and still try to get their laptop out and eat their breakfast. Here’s an idea: How about just leaving the seat empty? I know it’s a seat, but you don’t have to sit in it at any cost. It’s already half-covered, anyway.

3) Smokers

If you’re a smoker, you’ll completely disagree with this one, but as a non-smoker, I have to say it. I fucking hate smokers. I hate the stench of cigarette smoke that looms around the train station when I’m exiting it. I hate going into any house or getting into any car that has recently had a smoker in it. I hate when somebody stands near me and lights up. I hate when somebody decides to exhale their sucked-in tobacco smoke just as I walk past them. I hate walking in and out of buildings, because you have to go through a cloud of smoke every time. Why can’t the smokers who work in that building move a few feet away from the revolving door?

A lot of smokers complain that they are unfairly targeted. They’ve already been banned from smoking inside, and now people get offended when they smoke near them. Yeah, well, deal with it! Your habit is disgusting, and it’s one that harms others. Before you say there is no definitive proof of that, even if there is a chance that second-hand smoke harms people, it should be enough. If I’m told there’s a gang roaming the streets that might attack me if I leave the house, I’m not taking the chance. It’s the same with smoking. I do not want to take the chance.

I find it pathetic that you can’t survive an hour without having to go outside and light up a cigarette. Next no-smoking day, I’m pulling a Cousin Sal from the Jimmy Kimmel show and going around town with a fire extinguisher.

4) Overly nice, always interested people

That’s right, nice people annoy me. Who’d have thought it? Well, it’s not really nice people that annoy me, it’s those overly nice, “always interested to hear what you have to say” people. The problem is they’re not genuine. They’re phony. Here are some things these people say that grate on me, because I know the person saying it doesn’t mean it.

How are you?
Are you all right?
Have a nice day.
Good to see you. (No it isn’t; stop lying.)
It was nice seeing you. (Was it? Then why did you pretend not to notice me at first?)
What did you get up to on the weekend?
What are you doing on the weekend?
How’s the family?
What have you got for lunch? (Uh…why does it matter?)

Some people call this being polite. I call it fake. If we were just honest and only said things when we meant them, life would be so much simpler. A little more brutal, yes, but simpler.

5) Tailgaters

Is it possible for your car to get ass-fucked by another car? If it is, then the car I drive is attracting the wrong kind of attention, because I get the feeling every time I’m on the road that some vehicle is trying to fuck me up the ass. Before you ask: No, I don’t drive slowly—they drive too fast.

Doesn’t that piss you off when you’re doing the speed limit and the car behind you is trying to touch your bumper? It’s like a shitty undercover cop who doesn’t seem to understand that you aren’t supposed to know he’s following you.

Here’s a tip—whenever a car does this to you, slow right down. Then they have two choices. They can either sluggishly crawl behind you, or they can overtake you. Overtake! For crying out loud, overtake. Why don’t they ever overtake and always have to stay behind you to make the point that you’re going too slow?

6) Muslims who want to convert you

Yes, I know Christians and people of other religions do this, too, but so far I’ve only ever had it from Muslims. I know a Muslim worker colleague who’s a nice guy. I’d even call him a friend. One thing, though—he needs to understand that I am never … EVEEER … going to be a Muslim. I mean like, not ever. Not tomorrow, not in a month, not in a year, NEVER! Seriously, I can’t emphasize it enough.

I find some of the stuff he says interesting. It’s philosophically intriguing, but I just wish he wouldn’t quote the Quran to me 1,000 times a day and boast about how Muhammad is now the most popular male name in the UK.

7) Honkers

No, not honkies, though some white folks can be annoying as hell. Honkers! By this I mean people who constantly honk their car horn. Stop overusing this function. In most cases, when something happens on the road and someone beeps their horn, it’s the innocent person on the sidewalk that ends up shitting themselves. Car horns sound much louder to pedestrians than to other drivers! The dude in the car who did something to piss the honker off probably didn’t even hear it.

8) Street charities

This one might sound selfish, but there’s too much of it going on. I can’t stop and give money to every charity worker that stands in the street with a bucket. When I walk through the shopping center, there are hundreds of them, right down the middle, about 50 yards apart. Sometimes they move from the center and try to catch you as you attempt to go around them. You have to zig-zag your way through them.

I’m not a bad person and I do give to charity. I just don’t feel like having to list the charities I have given to every time they stop me, then explain why I won’t be giving anything to them. Saying you don’t have your bankcard and can’t remember your details usually makes them go away.

One of these charity folks started a conversation with me by telling me that this wasn’t a scam. He pointed out a couple of policemen nearby and explained that he wouldn’t be so bold if this were a scam. All this made me think was, “Why would he be telling me this if it wasn’t a scam?” I’m skeptical like that. He said too much.

9) Big fat loud black women

I have nothing against black people. In fact, sometimes I get bored of my predictable white friends and feel like it’s time to do something with my black ones. (I do have them—just not as many.) But I don’t like big fat loud black women. They’re the ones who call you a racist because you pull them up for cutting in front of them in a line. They will eye-roll you and head-roll you if you argue with them in any way. Don’t you dare say something about them always trying to play the race card, either, or they will unload verbal diarrhea on you.

If you’re a shop owner, don’t ever refuse to give a fat black woman what she wants, or she will bring up slavery and talk about how her ancestors built the pipes to your shop.

By the way, if you’re black, you might not get the race card pulled on you, but I’m sure the big fat loud black woman will have something to reprimand you about.

10) Good-looking people

If you are one, fuck you!

One of the biggest lies ever told is that good-looking people have it harder in life, because they have to deal with way more temptations than goofy-looking fuckers. I’m sorry, that’s just crap. Oh yeah, those poor good-looking people. They get more sex, more chance of getting through a job interview, and better jobs in general. (For crying out loud, you can be a model. How hard is it to be a model?) Not only that, but people gravitate toward them (rather than avoiding them like the plague). If you’re devious and conniving enough, you can also strike it rich by using your good looks to marry into wealth. This means you get to live an awesome life.

Unfortunately it’s a sad fact that life isn’t fair, and much like really slim people don’t understand the troubles of being a fat person, good-looking people don’t know how hard it can be to look like something that belongs up a whale’s nose. They have the good life and don’t appreciate it. Either that or they know it and throw it in other people’s faces.

I can’t comment too much about how it works with women (because I’m not one), but guys are pigs. A guy would rather chat, socialize with, and even give a job to a boring big-breasted blonde bimbo than a slightly more average-looking fun, friendly, and intelligent girl.

Look, I don’t even consider myself that bad-looking. I mean, I’m no prize, but I’m not that unpleasant to look at. I’ve met and know a lot of really good-looking people, and unfortunately most of them know it and flaunt it. If you ever meet those rare stunning ones who generally don’t care how about their looks, you’re probably in a dream.

Markiplier is a great person, for example, he cares for his fans and donates to charity. However, in my opinion, he does not have a great YouTube channel. To me he is the more caring version of Pewdiepie and that isn't exactly a compliment. He overreacts to moments that weren't meant to be taken in such a way and has an overly defensive fan base that attacks in swarms whenever someone says anything bad about Markiplier (People have opinions you know?). His charity work and his appreciation to the fans blind people of how mediocre his content is. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Markiplier as a person. He is a great role model on how to appreciate things other than yourself. However, he is not the best role model on how to make great content for your channel. - Adriang1205

Markiplier isn't as great of a person as everyone wants him to think. Look at how much money he makes, yet all the charity he gives comes from specific videos put up just to get him more attention. A person who really cares about helping others doesn't need to make a big showy display asking followers to donate the money he can make in a month and just go and donate himself. People are always talking about how open and honest he is, what about that secret girlfriend he has for several years, all those controversies about him he never truly addressed? The guy cultivated a cult-like following for himself which is why he didn't want anyone to know he had a girlfriend. He was too scared all his teenage fangirls would jump ship if they figured out they never had a chance with him. And how about how this guy cycles through friends that aren't Bob and Wade? Remember the Yamimash days? Minx and the others? He messed around with Jack for awhile but now he's into he's new friends that he lives ...more

I have a 10yo brother who loves Markiplier and has become part of his toxic fan base. I always tell him the bad things about Mark like "he only does it for the money" and "he acts like a toddler and only finds the most childish games possible to entertain his 2-second-attention-span viewers, exaggerates everything, and doesn't care about his community" but he always says "no you're wrong he cares about the people that watch his videos and the games he plays aren't bad, the games YOU play are bad and no one can believe what you say", so basically "stupid hater" (and just for reference, the main games I play are RaC, JaD, the Phantasy Star series, the Final Fantasy series, and SMG 1&2, and I think everyone can agree these are good games, especially compared to the cancer that Markiplier plays). There was a short period of time where Markiplier was at least bearable to watch, but after a while I realized it was just yelling into a microphone and ...more - ps4star

It's not just him who is annoying and lame, but also his fan base of 14 year old girls and childish fanboys which make his name seem even worse than it already is. His inspiration, by the way, is nothing new to us since PewDiePie was already doing what he was doing three years before he ever did, and about his videos- his taste in video games is absolutely bland, and doesn't seem to have anything special about it, that proves that all he wants is attention on YouTube. I used to like him back when he was playing SCP and Amnesia, I mean, those were decent games, but if he wants to discontinue playing good games, then he really isn't going anywhere with popularity in my opinion. He doesn't deserve to call himself a gamer, or even a YouTube gamer. Not to mention that playing games drunk is absolutely stupid.

He is entertaining in my opinion to watch. And I laugh at a lot of his stuff, but recently I realized I do not like what I have been seeing. He says a lot of "thank you's" and spews of affection towards his fans in his videos, but I do not think he thinks of them as people. It kind of makes me think about this actor named Tom Hiddleston. He came off as a nice guy and all 'just' but he treated his fans like an accessory like numbers.

Mark does the same I feel. I am bothered how his really blinded fans overlook this. They try very hard to get his attention in the comments and anyway they can, and they miss vital things that show 'this guy don't want to talk to them'. Recently I looked at his livestream and I was horrified to hear him say something along the lines of: "I think it's funny how many people are requesting to share contact information with me. As if I'd talk to them."

O_O Damn.

But he goes on and on about how he has this community, yeah right it's a ...more

All he does is talk loud and scream louder, it's a real shame 'cause back when he first started he was nothing like that-didn't overplay being scared at all (like he does now).

I can't understand why Markiplier's fans think he really cares about them he doesn't. He wouldn't be where he is today if it wasn't for his fans, but it's not like we all know Markiplier personally, and it's not like Markiplier is going to care about his precious fanbase anymore once he gets the money he wants. He's going to, at some point, become PewDiePie and care about nothing but uploading videos for money, regardless of their content quality. Look, I believe it's very generous that Markiplier donates to charity, and I know that he has went through tough times in his life, but he's not a very good gamer, and someday he's not going to care about much about his fans, knowing that they don't know him personally, and that they don't know how he truly feels about things. How can he care so much for his fans, and cry over the things that they do for him? I just can't understand.

I agree with the others below me. When I first saw his videos I thought 'gold'. Now he gives me a headache and I can't enjoy watching the game play because he's making stupid unfunny jokes that only 5 year olds would laugh at. 'oh he said butt haha' or 'oh he's making weird slurpy noises' yea no, those things stopped being funny when I got into middle school. And he justifies it as 'changing'. But how can you change from a serious YouTuber that cretics games and makes quite witty jokes at times to just outright screaming and making out with everything and constant sex or poops jokes. That's not changing to be better. that's more like unevolving. He's nothing more than Pewdiepie clone now and I can't stand him anymore. I'm so sad about that but he's doing it for the money now. He used to be such a stand up guy. Now he's just a clone jerk.._.

Doesn't play games as much as he does yell at them. He obviously exaggerates reactions to appease his fan base which isn't all bad, but it looks ridiculous and there are already 100 you tubers like him. I am honestly surprised he became popular.

I first stepped onto Markiplier's when I was searching for some Slender videos about 2.5 years ago. I really liked his videos and decided to subscribe to him. I then thought I should watch all of his older videos before I watch the more recent ones. And so I went through over 2000 of his videos (it's not a joke) one after another and I really liked them. But then 2015 came and Mark began to change. There were more and more stupid jokes, constant overreacting, memes that he was purposly feeding community with and really dumb edits. The quality of his videos really lowered to the point that I couldn't possibly stand them anymore. Also, his fanbase is just a bunch of kids who'll blindly defend him and his videos calling everyone criticising him "stupid haters". I can't believe Mark has changed so much, he used to be a really cool YouTuber I really enjoyed watching but now he's completely different in a really bad way.

Fake reactions, screaming like a retard, coming up with asinine characters (tiny box tim), playing any and all horror games and saying it's the scariest game ever. I wonder where I've heard all that before.

Such a sellout. All he does is upload videos that aren't funny, and makes money doing so, just so that his overly defensive fan base of white knights can suck up to him. If only he could be like he was 2 or 3 years ago where he played ACTUAL good games and didn't try so hard to please his fans, let alone appreciate their contributions to his gaming channel. I don't think it's going to happen. But I wish he could just mature a bit.

This guy was the main YouTube gamer that really annoyed me. I stumbled upon his video not having a clue who he was, just thought he was some other dude. He had some interesting horror games posted that were a bit dated but I still wanted to know about them, so I thought id watch. The whole entire video he was awkward, annoying, overdone, and childish. His obnoxious ways of lame joke after lame joke, his not shutting up and constantly distracting from the viewers experience of the game, his overbearing voice and unnecessary screaming. It was really aggravating. I actually just sat there and hate-watched the video until the end just to see the extent of this kids absurdity. I thought "whatever. he's an annoying idiot going nowhere and his videos suck". Then I find out he's famous and rich from this dumbass act. And I just thought "are you kidding me? This is what we want now as a general mass? "

I mean I'm all for making money on YouTube, if it works for him I ...more

When it comes down to it, his reactions are so forced. I watched his FNAF videos as the new games came out since he generally was the first person to post videos on it. However, I normally just skim through it to get what the games are like. His reactions are SO forced and faked that it is extremely grating. On top of that, any YouTube gamer that just posts unedited gameplay already is low in my books. It's so little effort and makes for low quality videos. When you contrast it with YouTubers like Mr Sark who only include the funny bits that they feel their viewers will like and actually add after effects to their videos, it really makes content like that of Markiplier and Pewdiepie look terrible.

What a sad story Markiplier is. I'm not a fan of his "type" of videos anymore anyways, but, when I still watched him, he tried to say he would stay a humble channel that cared for his viewers. Now he just screams like pewdiepie, edits his videos for dumb effect (so you can hear only the loudest, most forced screams), and uses dumb voices that grate at the ears. The worst part is that he knows what he's doing. He knows that the more videos he posts, the more cash he gets. He knows that if he spends more time making click-baity title cards, he doesn't have to care about the content or it's quality. He knows that if he plays stupid, babby games (Goat Simulator, Turbo Dismount, etc. ), he will get more clicks than obscure horror games, which he said, at one point, he would never give up for games like those mentioned above. The thing is, everyone wants their favorite artist to be successful. However, it's bull to think that originally good people cannot fall into the traps of ...more

He edits the videos so that a boring clip won't be showed for fifteen minutes.

I used to like him. He was funny and I appreciated how he has done charities in the past. But now, he tends to over exaggerate and I feel that he doesn't feel so real to me anymore. He also seems a bit self-obsessed. I guess fame is just a sick trap. When you're given too much, it changes you into the person you don't want to be.

With all honesty, I am a markiplier fan. I got here because my friend HATES markiplier. I'm not going to bash you, but don't bash me for saying my opinion. "Ugh durrr it's a mark fan" please don't be a hypocrite. I think he does overreact sometimes, but most of the time it seems quite genuine. He is a very honest and generous person. I'll be honest, he has become less funny in these more recent videos. I very much prefer the old ones, but he still cracks me up a lot. Markiplier is always trying to change things for the better by doing charity, and I highly respect that. Now, as far as his video quality goes, he can derp around every now and then, but he just has such a goofy personality that gets me every time. Again, please don't bash me for my opinion. Respect it like I am respecting yours. Thank you for reading my opinion!

His scream and comments are just plain annoying. While I do not mind commentaries, he doesn't have to try so hard to talk every 5 seconds, it just became annoying especially during game dialogues where I'd rather listen to their talks than his stupid "Ooh" and "Ah" and some immature comments.

It's sad to see people that favor Markiplier over Pewdiepie, or vice-versa. They are practically the same YouTuber. I feel like Markiplier just copied Pewdiepie. Most of his fandom believes that Pewdiepie is a jerk, even though they are basically the same! Mark has some good content here and there, but his fandom tends to be awful and his content tends to be the same boring gameplay that others do.

Markiplier changed.
I was a subscriber since 500. Then he was the most caring person ever and I know that it's hard talking to a big community heart to heart, but it seems like he's faking it now. I use to be proud of Markiplier, but now...

I saw a few of his sister location let's plays, so I decided to watch his other Fnaf videos. They were all right, so I thought he's just another let's player. Fine. But then I saw his other content (drunken let's plays, seriously, who does that? He. Apparently.), I hate how he immensely overreacts to everything, doesn't even pay attention to his games, thus elongating "the content" by overlooking crucial information on how to play, what to do... All that combined is a recipe for unsubbing for a gamer who just wants good quality let's plays and a bit of banter on the side.

I find that I only really end up liking his stuff when he figures out how the game works instead of just jumping the gun and trying to be funny. I really miss that serious concentrated face that he used to make when playing through some of his older games.

Can't believe he's only #16. I mean Pewdiepie sucks but damn even Markiplier puts him to shame as a YouTuber. I don't hate him as a person, I've heard he does a lot of charity donations and events so that I can respect. His Horror videos are just horrendous though, the fake screams and scares for views are just cringe worthy. It isn't funny at all. If you're looking for a funny Gaming channel, don't watch Markiplier. Watch Penguinz0 instead. He has quality content.

God damnit, I had this whole long, potentially well-worded mini-essay on why I dislike and don't respect Markiplier anymore, but I accidentally clicked the + button again... Well, he sucks, his videos suck, his charities are just publicity stunts to improve his own standing and to inflate his ego even more (though I'm doubting it can get any bigger without him running for president), and I think he's a prick.

His older videos are the only thing watchable for me. His content went down hill he is to all over the place for me to enjoy anymore. Also to me he has a aura around him that just screams I am better than you and comes off as a mega ass when working with other people. Fame and money sadly destroyed people.


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